Dear Black People and other assorted people-of-color,
It's been a while since we spoke - things have just been that busy for the last few years. Let's start over, shall we? Please just ignore all of our legislative initiatives, courtroom briefs, and books opposing affirmative action. Those segregationist organizations and universities that gave us their support meant nothing. Isn't it time that we get past our opposition to the Civil Rights movement and to the federal holiday commemorating Dr. King? We never really believed in the veracity of racial profiling - it was just the "in" thing to do at the time.
We can just move past this whole issue with hate crimes legislation, can't we? Let's not dwell on our opposition to an immigration policy and providing basic rights to our newest Americans. We never meant for the judicial system to produce severe disparities between whites and people-of-color - it just kind of worked out that way, you know? Surely, you can see that we're not to blame for income or educational disparities.
Let's just put all of this past us and focus on what's important. Let's focus on what we did in 1863 (registration required) - that's when our party, under Abraham Lincoln, proved that we're on your side. We freed the slaves, not the Democrats. Freeing people from slavery is what we're about. Isn't that reason enough for us to be friends? Think about it.
Love Always,
The Republican Party.
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