As I mentioned earlier, my sister got mugged Friday night in a frightening assault in which she was almost forced onto the subway tracks. It shook her up pretty badly and I was concerned about her - when I spoke to her after the crime, she was feeling pretty glum and was thinking about heading back to my parents' home.
New York is really tough on people. There are so many of them living on top of each other that the environment itself breeds competitive behavior, selfishness, rudeness, aggressiveness. The tension is one of the things that I really resented about New York when I first moved there. People are wound so tight that they are ready to snap at a moment's notice. That's the bad side.
The positive side, however, is that New Yorkers are a tough people. At their best is a never-say-die attitude that's hard to find elsewhere. I'm not a New Yorker but I've assimilated enough to feel (as many New Yorkers might) that my sister needed to accept that New York is a tough place to live; that she needed to be more careful when she went out; and that she needed to move past this and get on with her life here.
My sister, however, has been the baby of the family. She's been coddled and sheltered for a long time. She's used to having things go her way and when they don't she often internalizes those obstacles to the point where she can't get past them. Still, there's a period of her life that was pretty rough when she was essentially isolated and had to stand up on her own. I was praying that that part of her would find it's way out somehow and she would realize that inner strength again.
Tonight when I spoke to her on the phone, she was optimistic and cheerful. She found the strength to learn from the incident and put it behind her so that she can get on with her life. She's figured out how she needs to game the system to get what she wants. Today, she discovered her inner New Yorker. I'm proud of her. Way to go, kiddo.
I'm happy that even your sister is OK, but when you write "She's used to having things go her way and when they don't she often internalizes those obstacles to the point where she can't get past them" I think that this behaviour runs in the family!
However, she has shown the ability to be cheerful and optimistic... on this one, it doesn't appear to run in the family. Why don't you call her more often and see if it rubs off on you.
Oh and that NY'er spirit is found pretty much everywhere in America, well, at least in the Red states. We Believe.
Posted by: Joe | February 01, 2005 at 01:29 AM